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(And though he constantly disparaged her for it while they were together, he also grudgingly admitted he chose her for “school smarts", too).Plus, being so young, she was “more likely to put up with him,” he said.
I was enjoying a glass of white wine and sharing an entree with a good friend when he sat down next to us at the bar.At 33, I found it much harder to meet men than it had been in my early twenties.When I set up a profile on Ok Cupid, I was inundated with messages from men in their late forties, fifties and even some in their sixties.As with Bob, anytime I responded to the older men online, thanking them for their interest and reiterating my age-range preference (which clearly specified 31 to 42), I was offered a patronizing lecture on the value of an open mind and a laundry list of reasons they are young at heart, complete with winking references to their still-spry sexual prowess.I was also inundated with examples of famous couples with large age differences, in case I didn't know them.I thanked him for his interest, but let him know that that wouldn't be happening. He asked me to reconsider and retain “an open mind.” I felt frustration and anger boil up inside me as I looked at this man three decades my senior, who had manipulated me into a meeting under false pretences and then dismissed my refusal of his advances as close-minded. Instead, I ignored his emails until he finally gave up.
Being hit on by men who are considerably older was not new to me.I was considered too old for men my age, but not for those with 15 years or more on me.As Ok Cupid founder Christian Rudder has said, this is quite common.But this was the first time it occurred in person and with such aggression.Two years earlier, my relationship of nearly a decade ended.Dating much younger women seems to stem from these men's unhealthy and unrealistic obsession with youth – perhaps a way to stave off fears of their own mortality.